Enough reacting to the desperate and vicious attitudes of media commentators!

.. here’s some good news. Unfortunately i missed the SBS documentary, but Martin Flanagan (Richard’s brother), demonstrates his delightful flair for interviewing Aussie sporting greats, in this piece on Mecca Laalaa.

Mecca has hit the headlines because she represents a change in attitude at Cronulla Beach, Sydney. Following the riots of 2005, the local council decided to encourage non-anglo people (especially Muslim people) to become lifesavers. But they only invited the men. Ms Laalaa however has always wanted to be a lifesaver. So she fought the discrimination, and joined the lifesaving forces.

Now she’s pioneering a new Australian fashion .. the “burqini”, which is a wetsuit with a hood. Yeah! Go Mecca!

Let’s all keep an eye out for the positive and healthy changes in our cultural environment. It’s not all bad, is it!

Delightful friends, i gotta say that .. That infamously strange hotel experience was not the sum of my travel time in Cairns, nor did it epitomise the overall joy and usefulness.

As well as working for the community engagement project, hosting an online conference session and presenting a work project at the adult learning australia conference
.. i went SnoRkelling on the Reef!

Yay for SnoRkelling! On my birthday i went to Green island and dived headlong into the reef. Covered up in a huge lycra body suit to protect against the stingers and lice, i gazed in bliss at the totally gorgeous, wondrous underwater panoramas. Mmm, delicious and delightful. Yum. i could have snorkelled all night, um .. day.

Cairns is a beautiful place, especially when you get out of town. Rainforest, reef, tropical rivers .. my time was a bit too work-focussed, so i was mostly indoors and in the city.

i’ve never seen a city beach more abandoned .. perhaps because of the “Beware of Crocodiles” signs. One person walking on the beach in ten days. Thousands strolling along the promenade.

Amazing history panels. Turns out there used to be a fabulous beach with stunning sand dunes, but dredging in the 1930’s destroyed all that. Need for shipping channels etc. (Are you paying attention, Victorian govt? no, i guess not.)

i also caught up with the very amazing Avril Duck who is a theatre director up in Gordonvale. Avril used to live and study in Melbourne; she’s preparing for a play in 2008 focussing on the experiences of local parents. The other week they had a reading on the radio. Sounds good .. perhaps i can post a copy here.

And look, i carried a book around with me the whole week (yes, that book), and i was often wearing my iRiver mp3 player, with wires hanging off me everywhere. In very many places people glanced at me with no suspicion whatsoever, just the friendly happy-go-lucky Cairns vacant gaze. Lovely place .. i’d go there again.

thanks for reading,
xo michael

by the way, this video made me laugh:

(images: thanks to richard ling and melilab at flickr)

More from the media: book reviewer Rosemary Sorenson, writing in the Weekend Australian Review (02 dec), reckons that it (that Cairns pub incident) all depends where you were standing at the time, and regurgitates the patrons’ version of events.

(.. a version i heartily disagree with ..)

Rosemary also claims that management have declared they were acting to protect the ‘provocative interloper‘ from potential violence.

Well a blessed relief. Good to know that any (allegedly) potentially violent people are left inside the hotel, where they can’t do any damage. Wouldn’t want them out on the streets.

It’s an interesting version of events: i’ve read similar things on comment pages all around the country. One web cruiser wrote that Queensland must have gone soft because “a few years ago he would have been shark bait“.

I guess that the security workers were protecting that Indigenous woman too. She was probably escorted to the door for her own benefit. Don’t you reckon?

Still i’m glad to learn that management didn’t seriously think i was a security threat. Because it would be disturbing to learn they let a potential threat go to the next pub down the road. Wooden it?

ugh, i’m sure i’ll get over the whole thing very soon. Smile.

Love to youse all.
from the unknown reader

(thanks a bundle for fighting statue by mmarchin, and the attacker by kodama (home); both from flickr, licensed under Creative Commons.)

Do the Nut Bush. Do the Funky Gibbon. Do the Expressive Chicken. Yah!

Or .. Do the Motionless Standstill.
It’s the latest craze.
Mm-hm, the Stock-still (apparently).

Would you believe the Very Slow Robot?
The Freeze Frame? The Matrix Slow-Mo?

Sigh! Will i ever live this down? Standing still on a dancefloor !?
No way .. i wasn’t .. i didn’t .. those people, they’re being disingenuous!


Look i’m sorry you got called ‘paranoid’.
i know you’re just Normal within a Paranoid Society.
Can’t we just be mates? Maaaaate?

That’s it for me and dancefloors, we’re over!
I’m just going to sit still at a table with my beer and a my mates,
staring at the chicks on the chequered squares
.. like a Normal Aussie Bloke.

“You say, Everything’s All right. I Say, Nothing can go right Babe. Chequered Love.”
Yah. Right.

(images: thanks Carf and aardvaark)

Other online comments have included Andrew Bolt’s suggestion: that any hotel ejecting a reader of Flanagan’s novel is a sane and cultured place. To back up his controversial (outright rude) claim, the columnist dipped into the book’s preface which contends (in a literary way) that Jesus was “the first suicide bomber”.

okay, i admit i had some issues with that beginning too (wasn’t sure whether to take it seriously), and it took a while for Richard’s style to grab me. But i persevered with the novel, and found it a very worthwhile read. Challenging and insightful, it echoed many powerful themes for me. A good story.

i’m not sure that Andrew read the whole book. i think the preface may have been too morally outrageous for him. Or too politically correct. (“it’s so PC to attack JC.“) Or something.

His readers take the bile much further: “Pillow over the face is a good solution for people who take the first page of this book seriously. After that, a shotgun is acceptable.” (from ‘MareeS’ – does she mean me or bolt?)

Give credit to mr bolt, he did add, “Incidentally, I’m told by someone who has talked to him that Chalk is a nice, shy guy, so ease up on the personal criticism, please.“

But then he let the pillow / shotgun comment through. Ouch.

What am i doing reading bolt’s readers anyway? Publicans and punters in Cairns have nothing on these folk. Am i completely mad, a Glutton for Punishment? Stop it, right now!

(imagez: thanks so much for jesus says .. by RobertFrancis, and text hope u can handle it! by foTommEn, both creative commons licensed images at flickr)

Big it up for the remarkable Paul Keating (on abc world today), who never fails to produce a juicy metaphor. To him, the Ruddslide wasn’t something to be happy about .. rather a source of immense relief! He compared the election result to being hosed down after working in a toxic environment. Yes that describes exactly how i felt too. Thank you Paul.

(audio from abc, also available at their site)

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Other people enjoyed the wit of Keating:

• Not a Hedgehog also appreciated PJK’s commentary. Thanks for the direct link.
• Guido at Rank and Vile links to a celebratory Crikey article by Mungo McCallum, who quotes the final line of Dante’s Inferno: “E quindi uscimmo a reverder le stelle“: “.. and thence we emerged to see the stars again”.

(image: by Johnny Huh)

If you’ve just tuned in, i’ve been writing because my story appeared in newspapers around Australia (and Europe): cairns, brisbane, adelaide, sydney, melbourne, perth, tassie, england, the.uk, ireland and yes – sweden. (plus: front cover of cairns post! pdf 900kb)

This was a bit of a buzz for me, especially as the story was faintly ridiculous. People get kicked out of pubs all the time for being not-what-the-locals-ordered. Or a bit weird. Maybe even “socially undesirable”. In fact an Indigenous woman got kicked out the same pub five minutes before i did – and her face didn’t get in the media, did it?

Yes i got kicked out of a pub for having a book with me. A book with the T-word in the title. Plus wires hanging out me pocket. And staring in shock when that dark-skinned lady got chucked out the door. She was a good dancer.

The locals thought i was going to blow the place up. Apparently.

My friend Avril was shocked and wrote a letter to the Editor of the Cairns Post who found it a worthy headline and chased me down. Thank heavens i had the wits in the interview to pose as a tosser, and claim that i was “Absolutely flabbergasted”. Yeah, go michael !

Many people, gathered around water coolers, found this to be a sign that we’ve lost the plot, gone to hell in a hand-basket, and that hard-right governments are turning to tyranny. Also that the government and media hype is really about subduing Western populations and centralising control.

Following this, the people of Australia kicked out their conservative government. Yeah, go The People!

So, what do you think? Are we on track? Should we be going to war to stop all this anti-civilian violence. Rounding up folk who look different? Surrendering our civil rights in the interests of public safety? Sending suspects overseas where we can torture them ‘legally’?

Time to get some ring-ins .. yep just ring this number and chat to us now .. oh how do i make the switchboard work?

(images: thanks for takin it to the banksy by guano at flickr)